It’s hard to lose weight. But realistically, it’s mind boggling when we can’t figure out why we haven’t lost those extra pregnancy pounds!
1. Moms need coffee. Moms like me need a large iced triple expresso with chocolate and hazelnut syrup. And whipped cream.
2. Wake up at 6am. Chase, change, feed kids. Work. Go home. Chase, change, feed kids. Clean house (at least try to…). Chase, change, put kids to bed. Collapse into bed. When exactly was I supposed to fit in exercise?
3. Taking care of kids does not, unfortunately, technically count as exercise. However, once I can finally collapse in bed every night, I’m out so fast you’d think I just completed a triathlon (in my mind, I kinda did…).
4. If I do find a few minutes to exercise, here’s the routine. I’ll set up the living room for myself and set up the play room for the kids. Do they stay in there? Not when mommy’s doing funny-looking kicks and squats and is now like a fascinating new jungle gym! I’ll attempt sit-ups and two kids will be climbing on me (Ouch! Kids! Get off my head!). I’ll try step aerobics and they’ll climb on the step and put their toys on it (4-year-old: “a new fort for my miniature Barbies!”). If I do walk aerobics they’ll dance around me and make me have to dodge them and their toys (well, at least THEY’RE getting exercise!).
5. My back is still recovering from carrying a squirmy baby in a heavy car seat with a full diaper bag, loading and unloading a stroller, and being a jungle gym around the house. Unfortunately, the physical therapy I’m doing for that doesn’t exactly have the calorie-burning power of Zumba (which I haven’t yet figured out).
6. Macaroni & cheese. Grilled cheese sandwiches. Hamburgers, hot dogs, spaghetti, cheese sticks. Leftovers of which fill up the fridge – somebody’s gotta eat them. Would my kids actually be among those that actually eat salads, stir frys, lean fish, and a variety of raw fruits and vegetables? Of course not. If it’s not orange or from a box with a cute character on it (stupid marketing tactics), my kids won’t touch it. (Doesn’t matter how well mommy eats – though daddy could help set an example…)
7. Kids don’t eat three meals a day. They eat about 47 snacks a day that probably equal about three meals a day. I’m thinking about food all stinkin’ day long! Prepare, cook, serve, feed, cleanup, start all over again. Sheesh! How am I supposed to NOT think about food if I’m dealing with it from morning to night? (How do restaurant servers not gain weight???)
8. Can’t afford a gym membership. Need to buy diapers, kids’ clothes, an abundance of laundry detergent for those clothes, replacement sippy cups (those things get nasty after not too long), an abundance of dish soap for those sippy cups and the kids’ 47 snacks a day, shoes and sunglasses that get lost (there seriously has to be a black hole that follows my kids around and sucks up half their stuff), triple expressos with chocolate & hazelnut syrup…
9. Face it, moms. We live in a world filled with sugar and fat. There’s always a reason to celebrate with food – even more so when you have kids. Birthday parties, holidays, holiday seasons, get togethers with friends, barbecues, fairs and carnivals, vacations, first days of school, last days of school. Treats are everywhere! And now, taking the kids to places like the grocery store (unavoidable much of the time) is associated with treats. According to my 4-year-old, SuperTarget is the “cookie store” (kids get a free cookie in the bakery). Trader Joe’s is the “lollipop store” (kids get a free lollipop if they find the hidden stuffed chicken in the store). And these stores know what they’re doing. Sugar works with kids. What kid wants to go to the “zucchini stick” store?
10. Sometimes eating out is hard to avoid, when we’re away from home and everyone is hungry, such as on a road trip. Unfortunately, parents can’t always anticipate how a child will behave in a restaurant. So here’s a scenario at a restaurant:
- Child is happy when ordering and wants a grilled cheese sandwich.
- Grilled cheese sandwich order comes and child doesn’t want it anymore.
- Parent tells child it’s too late to change their mind.
- Child gets angry, cries, throws silverware, hides under table.
- Parent spends 10 minutes talking child into sitting in their seat and behaving.
- After much hugging and convincing, child agrees to eat sandwich.
- Sandwich is now cold.
- Child cries that sandwich is cold.
- Server is asked to warm up sandwich.
- Child eats bits of other peoples’ food at table to satisfy hunger.
- Sandwich is brought back to table.
- Everyone else is done eating.
- Child is partially full from nibbling on others’ food at table and only eats a few bites of sandwich.
- Sandwich is taken home.
- To avoid throwing out sandwich that child won’t eat later, mom eats sandwich.
11. (Okay, eleven reasons I haven’t lost those extra pregnancy pounds.) I almost forgot. Mommy hormones and metabolism, which practically screeches to a halt after childbirth.
Of course, I am still active as ever before…more so, even. Just in different ways. And I always try to fit in exercise in small doses whenever possible, including playing outside with the kiddos…but this list just proves that for many, losing weight after kids is a LITTLE more difficult than it may seem!
And to anyone without kids who thinks it should be easier…just try carrying a human being in you for 9 months, see your body change in ways you only thought would happen to your mother, give up normal sleep for at least one year (or 18), experience hormonal fluctuation chaos, be responsible for every little aspect of this little child’s life, and then find the time and energy to make yourself fit into those pre-pregnancy jeans you loved so much. Yeah, some moms can do it. But chances are, you won’t be one of them and you’re here because you haven’t lost those extra pregnancy pounds, so look at it this way…all women are beautiful and amazing for what we do and that’s all that matters!!!